Ten Rules for Writing and Why I Hate Them (Plus One Rule that I Love)

If you set out to be a writer, you are for sure going to be bombarded with writing tips. Some of these tips are so popular that they are often presented as “rules” for writing. The first thing any writer needs to know is that there are no rules that work for every writer, and that writing tips should be regarded as suggestions, rather than rules.

Here’s a list of 10 popular so-called rules for writing and why I hate them:

#1. Write what you know!

I have a confession to make: even though I write about a hardboiled private investigator who has run-ins with trolls, elves, and gnomes, I’ve never actually been a P.I., and I’ve never met a troll or an elf, much less a gnome. I have a good imagination, though, and I do a lot of research about things I don’t know the first thing about, such as the effective accuracy range of a 9mm pistol (about 50 yards for most users with extensive practice time at a pistol range; much less for unpracticed users). I don’t know about you, but if I was restricted to writing only what I know, it would be a very dull book.

#2. Show, don’t tell!

I actually like this advice if it is applied judiciously and infrequently, but I hate it as a general rule. Occasional descriptions of frost glistening on the grass, thin layers of ice over puddles in the field, puffs of steam emerging from the mouths of passers-by in their hooded overcoats, and wind whipping through the trees can be extremely effective and enjoyable to read. But too much detailed description, no matter how poetic, gets old in a hurry, and it is usually better to simply say that it was a cold morning and move on to more important things, like the plot of the story.

#3. Eliminate all adverbs!

Why? Adverbs are fine. No one is going to convince me that “He ran up the hill” is an improvement over “He ran quickly up the hill” no matter how much logic you use. Can adverbs be overused? Certainly! But if you think well-placed adverbs help get your message across, use them freely. (See what I did there?)

#4. Eliminate “said”!

Writers really struggle with this one. “Said” can be repetitive, no doubt about it. You’ll want to vary it up. Leave it out altogether when it is clear who is speaking. Go ahead and use the occasional “quipped,” “declared,” or “shouted.” (But, in my opinion, “said” is always a better alternative to “intoned,” “opined,” and “vocalized.”) Be aware that you cannot grunt, scowl, or snarl words, although you can whisper, breathe, or mutter them. You might even be able to snort, snarl, or growl words, but the jury is out on those. I like action tags: Joe set his cup down on the table. “When are we leaving?” But action tags can also lead to an overabundance of shrugging, frowning, and sighing. “Said” works as often as not, I think. I sometimes like to use is as a timing device: “I don’t know if I’ll like it,” Joe said, “but I’d like to give it a try.” As with anything, use good judgment.

#5. Avoid using exclamation points, ellipses, semi-colons, m-dashes, and other fancy punctuation marks!

Why? I LOVE exclamation marks! Maybe you picked that up already. Would you believe that I even like the occasional interrobang?!? Anyway, this is a silly rule. Punctuation marks are fair game. Use them. (But learn the difference between a colon and a semi-colon.)

#6. Don’t write long sentences!

Oh, please. Are we supposed to count the number of words in our sentences now? What’s the maximum number we can use? What’s the penalty for going over? The first sentence in my first book (A Troll Walks into a Bar, available in eBook form for just $4.99 and in paperback for $14.99 at Amazon) is 104 words long. I like it. If anything, I should have made it longer. A reviewer criticized me for writing it. Screw him. He can go read Dr. Seuss if he wants.

#7. Identify your audience and write for them!

I hear this a lot, but I think it’s terrible advice. Trying to predict what an audience wants is a sucker’s game. Better advice, in my opinion, is write what you want and let your book find its audience. It might wind up being a bigger audience than the one you identify and write for! I mean, why limit yourself?

#8. Write a complete draft before you start revising!

I’ll admit that this is actually good advice for many writers. Some writers get bogged down in the details and find it challenging to complete a book if they revise as they go. But this advice doesn’t work for me, and I know I’m not alone. My writing process each day generally involves rewriting what I wrote the previous day, and then moving forward. It’s one step back and two steps forward, but it works for me. I need to be confident of my foundation before I feel comfortable building on it. The good news is that when I finish my first draft, it only needs minimal polishing and fine-tuning. Does my process seem slow? Well, I’ve published five full novels and a novella in three years, so you tell me!

#9. Always carry a notebook and pen!

Come on. Pretentious much? If I actually did that, I’d just set them down somewhere and lose them. Besides, I don’t like to write pen-to-paper. Once I discovered keyboards, I stopped writing things down. I’m not even sure I know how to form letters anymore. And, no, I’m not going to record ideas on a phone, either. If the idea is any good, I’ll remember it long enough to type out a note on my computer when I get home. If I can’t remember the idea, it probably wasn’t that good anyway.

#10. Write every day!

This is easily the single worst piece of writing advice I’ve ever been given, and it’s also the one I’ve heard the most. Usually in stern, authoritative tones. And it’s just plain wrong! You need a break? Take it. You don’t feel like writing today? Don’t. Thinking about your story is productive. Discussing ideas with someone willing to listen to them is even more productive. Taking a vacation from your story can be extremely productive. Forcing yourself to write every single damned day come hell or high water is a good way to burn yourself out and make you hate writing. If someone tells you that you aren’t a writer unless you write every day, smile, nod, and walk away. And then, when you feel like it, write.

And finally, without further ado, the rule I love:

Write the Book You Want To Read!

That’s right, write for yourself. As someone astutely put it, you’d better love the book you’re writing, because no one is going to read it as often as you will. Now, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t accept good advice from beta readers, editors, or even publishers. But only accept the advice that you feel improves your work. And don’t be hardheaded about it, either: no matter how good a writer you are, your work can always be improved. But if the suggestions and proposed changes don’t resonate with you, ignore them. You know your story better than anyone else. If you’re writing what others are telling you to write, or what you think your audience wants you to write, or, worst of all, what you think will sell, it’s not going to be nearly as pleasurable an experience as writing the book you yourself want to read. And, perhaps more important, it’s not likely to be the best (or most marketable) story you can write. Remember, you can’t please everyone, so you may as well please yourself.